ひな祭り

ひなまつり

Hinamatsuri 「ひな祭り、ひなまつり、hina matsuri」is the "Girl's Day" or "Doll's Day" festival here in Japan. It is celebrated every year on March 3rd (3月3日), but festivities take place from mid February all the way through mid March.

The celebration is the counter to a later festival for boys/children in May. Traditionally, little girls in Japan have a set of dolls, usually gifted by grandparents, that represent the royal court. They sit on a stepped display of red felt, surrounded by courtesans, musicians, guards and gifts!

A belated happy new year to you all! The calendar has turned another page, but I am not keeping up.

2017 was a rough year for me. We moved away from all of my friends in Nakatsu to somewhere new, Saiki. Still in the same prefecture (Oita), but feeling like it was so far away was rough. We went from flat farmland to the ocean side. Saiki is so much smaller than Nakatsu, or at least it feels like it, without all of the friends we made in the 5 years in Nakatsu. But, I met new friends, who are tentatively making up for it. Plus, I get to see the Nakatsu folks on occasion, when I'm able to make the trip up there.

My mental health tanked mid 2017. My compulsions have gotten worse; I'm actually amazed I haven't done something drastic, like cut off a finger or jam out an eye. In the US, I was in the process of being diagnosed, but as I didn't have regular insurance, it was a slow process with whatever different psych could see me for 5 minutes, ask me some questions, throw new pills at me, and then repeat 2 months later. The diagnosis I left the country with was Major Depressive Disorder, and I was being seen to determine if I was schizophrenic, but again, when you get 5 minutes with a different doctor each time every couple of months, it's hard to make a determination.

Here in Saiki, I now have access to a psych less than a kilometer from my house. I go at least once a month, and it's been helping a bit. The only problem is, in Japan, diagnoses of things like schizophrenia aren't done, because they still ascribe to the idea that if someone is schizophrenic, they're going to go on a shooting spree or something. So he refuses to even consider it. But, I'm at least able to get my medication that keeps it under control for the most part, so I'm thankful for that. Prior to this, I had to have my meds shipped in from my mother in the US, and the out of pocket, $400 a visit doctor was insisting to see me (he initially said Skype was an okay way to do an appointment, and walked that one back). He didn't like the answer of "hey, I can't afford to fly back to the US right now just to see you."

Anyways, I'm glad I can see a doctor here. The meds are expensive, but at least I have insurance that helps cover it.

And 2017 led me to even more doctors.

2017 is the year I really became an outspoken person about having some version of universal healthcare.

This fall, I was diagnosed with a severe case of hyperthyroidism, that I had apparently been suffering with for 3 years! Growing up, we didn't got to the doctor unless it was a really obvious need, and the symptoms for the thyroidism were nefarious. Plus, every doctor wrote it off, because I didn't meet the "traditional" guidelines for hyperthyroidism --- basically, because I'm fat. They never did the additional blood work, they just assumed it was something else, and that be that.

It took having full body tremors, to the point that I couldn't hold a fork or walk in a straight line without falling, to finally start to get some answers.

Literally, for months, I was having shaking fits so bad that I would drop chopsticks, I wouldn't be able to write, or hold things like scissors. I couldn't do anything, and it was tearing me apart. Add into the mix my mental health, which I just recently learned will be affected by the thyroid as well, and holy hell, I wasn't doing good.

Thanks to a very good doctor, who actually took my issues seriously for once, I was referred to a world-class endocrinologist. It's changed my life. The cool thing is, the doctor isn't in Tokyo or Osaka, but near by in Beppu of all places. Seriously, this guy is an international specialist, who has limited hours because he's often traveling to conferences to speak. And he's kind of in my back yard, of bum-fuck Kyushu! Also, he speaks perfect English, so that was quite a surprise in itself.

So a couple of times a month, I hop on a train for 2.5 hours to get to a hospital to have 6 vials of blood drawn, the occasional ultrasound, and meet with this doctor.

It's another expense we can't really bear, but we have to. We've spent 6 months trying to balance my thyroid hormone and my brain meds, and while it isn't perfect, it's better than it was a year ago. Anything is better than that.

Let's see. Oh! 2017 welcomed a new furry friend to our family.


Bean literally ran into me instead of the road, and I guess that meant I was adopted. She was as confused as I was about the whole thing, but, while she's still a little feral, she's been a hilarious addition to our household. Except now the cats outnumber the humans.

2017 did see the launch of my new brand of jewelry and kimono goods, "lui~lu" since our new apartment is large enough for me to set up a sewing machine. I've had a great success with it so far, and I'm hoping to grow it enough to cover all of my medical bills each month, so we don't have to stress so much about every yen. We depleted our meager savings during the move and with my diagnosis and doctor visits, so now we're running month to month for everything. I don't want to put that stress on my husband so much, so I'm hoping that this will be a success, just like Taeliac Studio was.

All in all, 2017 wasn't the best, but 2018 has the potential to be better, if I can get my health under control so I don't kill myself half way through it.

I'm going to try to be on here more, because I miss talking to you people. I don't even know if people still follow me, or are angry that I don't do cosplay any more (man, I wish I did though!). But I want to be a part of this community again, however my health will allow it!

So, happy new year, and here's to a good 2018!